“No man has ever bribed his way into Heaven.”

 

But I’m a sweet talker,

Walking on water,

Mr. Illusionist, The Shadow-Knitter,

It’s all second nature to

Me.

 

Oh, I’m a cool customer,

Just ask the ice cream hawker,

A champion cucumber, and

Prize-winning veg,

But you’re the one green with

Envy.

 

Yesssss! I’m a shyster,

Stück Scheiße,

The Master of Disguise,

But while you suffer in search of

Saintliness,

I’ll cheat my way to

Paradise.