Tax-dodger, total todger,
Misogynistic, dipstick lodger,
Pancake-tosser, big space hopper,
Since when was I hired to be your post-mess mopper?
Self-promoter, floater voter,
Go to hell and stuff your rota,
Backstabber, snake and ladder,
Let’s not forget ‘cafetiere-nabber’,
Bedside grazer, big girl’s blazer,
When last you were slim, I had a Motorola Razr,
Fat controller, ham joint-roller,
You gimme more grief than an aching molar,
Barefaced liar, 2nd floor-climber
Poison Ivy, two-times two-timer,
Infuriator, Master Baiter,
Hot rod-prodding agitator,
Lord of the Manor, private plotter,
Fetishistic fascist, fat shit rotter,
Fiction writer, tacky-tie hoarder,
Penny-pinching, mean marauder,
Suitable banker, ball-less wanker,
Can you blame me for such rancour?
You probably will, but I wont letcha,
Mr. Cinders, I’m out to getcha!